You're my first, my last, my everything...

So you may be thinking that this blog is about a girl. For anybody who really knows me they know it is not, it is about my job. There are host of reasons why I love my job more than probably 97% of girls I have met. I thought about doing this blog in list format but decided against it, because my job is above that, it is worth more to me than that. I work here at Byu-Idaho filling vending machines from 6:00 am to 9:00 am. There are the obvious reasons why my job is better than a girl, it pays me, it doesn't make me feel like I don't pay her enough attention, and it doesn't call or text me 20-30 times a day. Pretty much work is the perfect mistress, except for the sex part. Every day greets me with a new adventure, either all the chips in the dorm were eaten overnight, stealing a co-workers van, or the masterminds (heavy sarcasm implied) on the Student Representative Council decide that a great idea to boost their numbers at devotional would be to pass out "devotional pass along cards" in the vending machines across campus. So instead of spending long hours in the library trying to scamming on hoochies I'm getting up early and passin' out that candy. Don't hate the player hate the game.

Movies

Since the last post I did was about movies I figured I would just give you some movies that I think will help you be a better more rounded person. Also all these movies are old cause I love old movies. Deal with it. For your convenience I have seperated them into genre.

Westerns

• The Searchers (John Wayne said it was his best)
• High Noon (Some commies say it is about how they were treated, whatever it is a good movie)
• Once Upon a Time in the West (5 minutes till the end I thought it was a terrible movie and now it is on this list)
• The Cowboys (Heartbreaker)

Film Noir (kind of)

• To Have and Have Not (Ernest Hemingway classic)
• Vertigo (Hitchcock, need I say more)
• Charade (Audrey Hepburn + Cary Grant= PERFECT!)
• Laura

Romance

• It Happened One Night (Also Hilarious)
• Roman Holiday (Another Hepburn)
• Sabrina (Yet another Hepburn, but also has Humphrey Bogart)

War

• Patton (Rommel! You magnificent B******! I read your book!)
• Caine Mutiny (Ending was AWESOME)
• Lawerence of Arabia (Make sure you have 4 hrs)
• Seargent York (Rednecks go to war)

Drama

• Casablanca (Tied with Searchers for my fav movie of all time)
• Best Years of Our Life (3 post WW II stories that intertwine)
• M (Super creepy, could have been put under film noir section)
• Ben Hur

Comedy

• Some Like it Hot
• Were No Angels
• Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (Steve Martin and it is black and white)
• Dr Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love with the Bomb (Weird but funny)

Horror (These are some of the first Horror movies and they are classic)

• Night of the Hunter
• Psycho
• Gaslight

Okay so that is my list. I have left off a lot of really good ones that are more well known, but some really well known was I have kept on because they are so good. A lot of people, I'm sure, have heard of a lot of these but haven't actually watched them, so I implore you to live the higher life of cinema viewers and go for the good ones.

Have you seen...

I am a big fan of movies, not so much of t.v. All movies. I have to say that westerns and detective movies set in the 20's-40's have an especially soft spot in my heart. I will give just about any movie a chance. I even like some chick flicks as long as they are not to gushy or stupid. Or predictable. I wouldn't say that I am a huge movie buff but rarely do I meet someone with whom there isn't at least some common ground with movie interests. Now when I said that that I loved movies I really meant it, in fact on very frequent occasions I have wished my life was a movie. Since I have come to the realization that no matter how hard I wish for it, people with guns aren't going to chase me down the street while I dodge their bullets and return gunfire of my own, I'm not going to have the opportunity to ride a horse into a small town and clean it up by my quick draw gunplay, and the beautiful woman that spies me on the street isn't going to fall hopelessly in love with me after a 20-30 second conversation (this took longest for me to realize). So upon realization of these things around my twelefth birthday (except for the last one I probably realized that around 23-24) I began to realize that although I could not live the life of the movies I could at least dress the part. Following is a list of movies and t.v. shows that have influenced my dress:

• Ocean's Eleven
• Casino Royale
• The Big Sleep (I could of used a host of movies but this was the first that came to mind)
• Casablanca
• Tombstone
• Seinfeld (don't laugh, Kramer specifically)
• The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
• Gladiator (really just halloween for a couple of years)
• Pushing Daisies (If only I could be as witty as they are)
• Pirates of the Caribbean
• and a couple of WW II movies (Dirty Dozen, Patton, etc...)

Books have also influenced my dress on a much smaller degree although most of this influence has been on the way I would like to dress but due to the extreme nature of the clothes, or lack of ability to find them I have not actually included them as part of my wardrobe (I have never found circa 1780-1800's British Naval Officers garb, but if any stumble upon it I'm holding you responsible for informing me). So although I may never live the life, I can look the part. This has occasionally resulted in people saying that I look like a charcter out of a movie, but due to their lack of movie knowledge they are usually miles away from what I was trying to achieve i.e. saying I look like James Bond when I'm dressed like Philip Marlowe (you are only 30 or 40 years off) or Inspector Gadget (seriously who would dress up as Inspector Gadget? Did he ever solve a crime without the help of his dog or that girl? Come on, if I am dressing as them they are going to be at least pretty cool and have some class).

"Ten million and you are still driving this piece of junk?"

"I spent it all on the suit."

BLACK ICE = PURE AWESOME

Every once in awhile an album impacts the music world so much I need to blog about it. Such an event happened on Monday when the worlds greatest rock band, AC/DC, came out with their 18th album rocking their new hit "Rock and Roll Train" which excretes undiluted excellence. Most people I inform of this event respond with "Wow I didn't even know they were still alive?" To my ignorant friends I respond "They are and they are rocking now as much as ever." This album marks their 35th year of wowing the world with their High Voltage rock. Even despite setbacks such as the death of their lead singer, Bon Scott, in February 1980 they were Back in Black with a new album release later that year with new singer Brian Johnson. That album went on to be the 2nd best selling album of the 1980's. We roll tonight to the guitar bite thanks to AC/DC.

Canoeing vs. Kayaking

Recently I completed my first canoe trip worth mentioning and couldn't help but compare my experience canoeing with my experience that I had kayaking in Alaska. Let me briefly outline both trips so you can better understand my arguments. Kayaking in Alaska: some friends and I rented some Sea Kayaks and paddled on the ocean to an inlet which turned out to be about 60 miles in 3 days. We spent nearly all day kayaking (I thought my arms fell off a few times during the first day but I eventually got used to it) and it was tons of fun. Canoeing in Idaho: I went with my class of 10 plus Instructor we were gone 2 days and maybe went 10 miles (take in account that my distance judging skills are barely something you can call a skill mostly I just say how far I think I wanted to go.) Previous to my Kayaking experience I had never spent any amount of time in a kayak whereas I am the proud bearer of the canoeing merit badge. Now that my experiences of the two nautical craft are placed on the table let me give you my list of why I think canoeing to be superior to kayaking.

1. Canoeing takes a great deal more skill to maneuver successfully, whereas any dolt can drive a kayak.

2. Canoeing can be done in a variety of positions (sitting with legs bent, sitting with legs straight, kneeling, standing, etc...) Kayaking can only be done in one position.

3. Transporting pets, small children, invalids, and the elderly are all possible by canoe but extremely difficult by kayak.

4. Canoeing requires less gear (canoe, paddle, pfd.) Kayaking (kayak, paddle, pfd, spray skirt.)

5. Canoes are easier to portage; for you landlubbers that means to carry your watercraft over ground.

6. Canoes are easier to get into and out of without getting wet.

7. Fishing, picture taking, rescuing people, bailing out other boats and playing vigorous air guitar are all easier to do/possible in a canoe.

8. You have greater access to your stuff in a canoe.

9. If it gets hot and you feel like going for a swim you can get out and back into your canoe without swamping it and without being a world class athlete.

10. Making out in a canoe is way easier than in a kayak.

Things' kayaking has over canoes:
1. Kayaks look cooler.

2. It is easier to go down big, fast rapids in kayaks.

3. A lot of people think kayaking is cooler (they are wrong.)

4. You get to take more stuff with you i.e. spray skirt.

5. If you flip your kayak you get to do that cool roll thing where you un-flip it.

As you can see whereas kayaking is cool, it is inferior to canoeing in almost all areas except for those of you whose vanity determines all areas of your life

My Life as a Worm

For all those who have never experienced spelunking in its fullness it is something you are truly missing out on. I'm not talking about namby pamby, walking full height, through a cave with a tour guide, i'm talking about inching along on your stomach like an earthworm ever worried that a slight tremor in the earth will seal your doom and bury you never to be seen by human eyes again. Recently I was privelged to indulge myself in this pasttime and it awakened all the childhood curiosity of my youth. I could almost hear the voice of my mother cautioning me to be careful, only I didn't so I carried on guilt-free and let my curiosity run wild. It was only until I came across an uncrossable chasm that I decided to turn back. To me the best thing about being in the outdoors is that freedom to go wherever I want, unburdened by the restraints of roads, crosswalks, or traffic rules. I'm not really even bound by the common decency to wear clothes although I keep them on mainly so as to not offend others. That and it usually pretty cold.

Gumsters

A recurring habit throughout my life has been old, black &white gangster/mafia movies. Everything the "tough guys" in the movie do is cool, from walking to chewing gum. I suppose gum at the time of these movies was a fairly new concept and the horror that some people attach to chewing gum in public had not yet been attached. These mobsters would be standing around in a hotel lobby chewing gum or flipping a coin and some detective would come up and start questioning them and all they would do is keep chewing or flipping. The cop or private eye would get more and more frustrated until eventually they just left the gangster alone. Then the gangster would go and do something cool like get mixed up in a gun fight or an old school car chase in a Packard convertible. From their head to toe these mobsters were cool; their hat, their clothes, their shoes, and especially their guns It is my goal to re-establish some small part of the "tough guy" approach, if only by making chewing gum look tougher. Next time I am chewing gum in a "no gum area" and somebody questions me about it I'm just going to lean back in my chair exposing the butt of a gun under my jacket, tip my hat back and say "how ya figure that?" If the interrogation continues as to why I am chewing in no chewing area I'll drop my hand down and let my fingers tap on the handle of my gun while I continue to make smart remarks. Unfortunately for me to properly pull off this sort of behavior would require a full change in dress, speech, and probably moral standards. I guess gum chewing left "tough guy" status when gangsters, started wearing baggy pants and gold chains. Oh how I miss the good old days...