Short Stories and Stuff

Yes that alliteration was intentional. So I have decided to post a little short story I wrote for one of my classes. Feel free to post any improvement suggestions you have but be warned that the likelihood of me taking anything you suggest into consideration is probably nill. So grab a Dr. Pepper and some air popped pop-corn with way to much butter and enjoy.

The swirling sand made it all but impossible to see the footprint. Just a slight indentation in the ground made it barely possible to see. I crouched down to see which direction the foot was heading in. Heading west. I hopped back up on top of Nelson and spurred him on. This guy was a real bad guy. Wanted for two murders back in Dandridge County and from the way he carried those out probably even more than that in other counties. But for $10,000 I’ll track anybody, even without being commissioned by the Marshall.
I surveyed the desolate landscape looking for any more signs. No luck. Just saguaros and sage brush. I tipped my hat back and readjusted my bandanna across my neck in an attempt to block the sun. Again, no such luck. Nelson kept on across the desert while I reached down for a drink. This wasn’t the first ne’er-do-well I had tracked. I had caught even more. All I had ever done was follow my nose and that gut feeling in my stomach. More than once that sinking feeling in my gut had saved my skin. I kept a close lookout for signs as we walked along. Occasionally a broken twig would let me know I was on the right track.
Signs were getting scarce when I noticed what looked like a big carcass a little up ahead. I pushed Nelson to a gallop and pulled up alongside the big buffalo carcass. Or what was left of it. Mostly just bones with some with a few ragged pieces of skin remained. Didn’t look like humans killed it, they would have spent more time getting the skin off it. Must have been some sort of animal. I jumped down to take a look around and sure enough found enough animal tracks to make an accurate conviction. I took a look down to see what type of animal would have caused it. Wolf tracks? No. Couldn’t be. I had never seen wolves this far south. But sure enough those were wolf tracks. Had the little claw marks and everything. Most have been a few of them from the number of prints around. Well, no worry, they are all fed and won’t be hungry for at least a couple of days.
I decided that this was as good a place as any to bed down for the night and pulled out my bed roll and started up a fire. Just as the light was dying I picked off a rabbit for dinner. The sun went down a little further in the sky and I faded off just as the sun dipped behind the horizon. A few hours later I was awakened by the howl of wolves as their voices reached the full moon. It was beautiful in a scary sort of way. The howl of wolves is different from that of other dogs or coyotes. The howl of a wolf is a full, beautiful sort of wail rather than the nervous scream from coyotes. Despite the noise I drifted off to sleep and didn’t wake till morning.
I woke just before sun rise and was on the trail just as it poked its head above a distant mountain. Hill is more accurate, but it is the closest thing to in this area. A few miles down the trail I came upon an Injun tribe. As I got closer I could see ‘em all runnin’ around mad as hornets. I made my presence known and they came up to me shouting about losin’ one of their children. I told ‘em I had just come from a little further east and was huntin’ a known killer. They said wolves took the kid and I told them they were imagining things. I left the tribe just as I found ‘em, still mad as hornets.
I picked up his trail again a little past the Injun camp and must be getting close cause his footprints were getting more defined. I kept on his trail until his footsteps were entirely trodden over by other footprints. As I took a closer look it was as I feared, wolf tracks. He didn’t deserve to go out like that. It was too good for him. He needed to hang in front of the families of people he murdered. But there was no reward without a body so I followed the wolf tracks hoping they would lead to where they left him.
Just before dusk I rode into Custis. A small town built around a spring. Town maybe too large a word to describe it. The saloon was the most prominent building among the bunch so I tied off Nelson in front and went in to take a look around. They had rooms upstairs so I got myself a room for a change from the desert ground and made myself comfortable. After a change and a quick shave I went down to the bar to have a chat with the bartender.
“What can I get ya?”
“Nothing to drink. Not yet anyway. You see a fella by the name George Adams?” I asked knowing he was probably dead anyway.
“Not tonight.” He replied.
“What do you think of those wolves we have been hearing around here?” He asked
“Mighty strange.” I said. “I have never heard of wolves coming this far south.”
“Mighty strange indeed.” The bar tender affirmed.
We kept on small talking until just before the sun set. Just as that sun was going down I saw the dirty scoundrel walk in through the double doors of the saloon. The wolves didn’t get him. If I would have had my gun I would have settled things right there, but it was back up in the room so I kept on small talkin’ while he ordered people around getting set up in a room. Room 205. It was that easy. I gave him a few minutes to get comfortable while I grabbed my repeatin’ rifle and buckled on my pistol. I crept down the hall to room 205 and with a heavy kick smashed in the door. I burst into the room with my rifle pointing the way and staring right down the barrel of my rifle was a wolf. Sort of. He was bigger than a wolf and was standing on his back legs. His big yellow eyes stared at mine for an instance until a sudden and unexpected leap sent him through the window. I rushed to the window and fired a few shots at the fleeing creature as he sped away from me. He was fast and after a few moments watching him I knew there was no way of catching up. Especially on foot.
A few quick steps and leaps brought me to the floor of the hotel and I as I ran out I managed to put a few more shells in my rifle. I leapt up on Nelson, holstered my rifle, and spurred him after the wolf. The tracks were fairly easy to follow out of town and I kept on his track running Nelson at almost a full gallop. His trail led me outside of town into a lava field. I followed him down a narrow corridor of rock walls when I lost the trail. A rock shifted on the wall behind me and I jerked around and watched the gaping mouth of the wolfman get larger and larger. My hand unconsciously went to the pistol on my hip and just as I could feel the hot breath of the wolfman on my face the pistol fired sending the bullet straight through him. His lifeless body crashed into mine knocking me off Nelson and crashing painfully into the lava rocks. I pushed off his body and watched the hairy skin recede from the face leaving the more recognizable face of George Adams. Nelson neighed a little as I dumped the body on his back and settled in the saddle. The Colt Dragoon, made to kill men, horses and apparently wolfmen.

You're my first, my last, my everything...

So you may be thinking that this blog is about a girl. For anybody who really knows me they know it is not, it is about my job. There are host of reasons why I love my job more than probably 97% of girls I have met. I thought about doing this blog in list format but decided against it, because my job is above that, it is worth more to me than that. I work here at Byu-Idaho filling vending machines from 6:00 am to 9:00 am. There are the obvious reasons why my job is better than a girl, it pays me, it doesn't make me feel like I don't pay her enough attention, and it doesn't call or text me 20-30 times a day. Pretty much work is the perfect mistress, except for the sex part. Every day greets me with a new adventure, either all the chips in the dorm were eaten overnight, stealing a co-workers van, or the masterminds (heavy sarcasm implied) on the Student Representative Council decide that a great idea to boost their numbers at devotional would be to pass out "devotional pass along cards" in the vending machines across campus. So instead of spending long hours in the library trying to scamming on hoochies I'm getting up early and passin' out that candy. Don't hate the player hate the game.

Movies

Since the last post I did was about movies I figured I would just give you some movies that I think will help you be a better more rounded person. Also all these movies are old cause I love old movies. Deal with it. For your convenience I have seperated them into genre.

Westerns

• The Searchers (John Wayne said it was his best)
• High Noon (Some commies say it is about how they were treated, whatever it is a good movie)
• Once Upon a Time in the West (5 minutes till the end I thought it was a terrible movie and now it is on this list)
• The Cowboys (Heartbreaker)

Film Noir (kind of)

• To Have and Have Not (Ernest Hemingway classic)
• Vertigo (Hitchcock, need I say more)
• Charade (Audrey Hepburn + Cary Grant= PERFECT!)
• Laura

Romance

• It Happened One Night (Also Hilarious)
• Roman Holiday (Another Hepburn)
• Sabrina (Yet another Hepburn, but also has Humphrey Bogart)

War

• Patton (Rommel! You magnificent B******! I read your book!)
• Caine Mutiny (Ending was AWESOME)
• Lawerence of Arabia (Make sure you have 4 hrs)
• Seargent York (Rednecks go to war)

Drama

• Casablanca (Tied with Searchers for my fav movie of all time)
• Best Years of Our Life (3 post WW II stories that intertwine)
• M (Super creepy, could have been put under film noir section)
• Ben Hur

Comedy

• Some Like it Hot
• Were No Angels
• Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (Steve Martin and it is black and white)
• Dr Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love with the Bomb (Weird but funny)

Horror (These are some of the first Horror movies and they are classic)

• Night of the Hunter
• Psycho
• Gaslight

Okay so that is my list. I have left off a lot of really good ones that are more well known, but some really well known was I have kept on because they are so good. A lot of people, I'm sure, have heard of a lot of these but haven't actually watched them, so I implore you to live the higher life of cinema viewers and go for the good ones.

Have you seen...

I am a big fan of movies, not so much of t.v. All movies. I have to say that westerns and detective movies set in the 20's-40's have an especially soft spot in my heart. I will give just about any movie a chance. I even like some chick flicks as long as they are not to gushy or stupid. Or predictable. I wouldn't say that I am a huge movie buff but rarely do I meet someone with whom there isn't at least some common ground with movie interests. Now when I said that that I loved movies I really meant it, in fact on very frequent occasions I have wished my life was a movie. Since I have come to the realization that no matter how hard I wish for it, people with guns aren't going to chase me down the street while I dodge their bullets and return gunfire of my own, I'm not going to have the opportunity to ride a horse into a small town and clean it up by my quick draw gunplay, and the beautiful woman that spies me on the street isn't going to fall hopelessly in love with me after a 20-30 second conversation (this took longest for me to realize). So upon realization of these things around my twelefth birthday (except for the last one I probably realized that around 23-24) I began to realize that although I could not live the life of the movies I could at least dress the part. Following is a list of movies and t.v. shows that have influenced my dress:

• Ocean's Eleven
• Casino Royale
• The Big Sleep (I could of used a host of movies but this was the first that came to mind)
• Casablanca
• Tombstone
• Seinfeld (don't laugh, Kramer specifically)
• The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
• Gladiator (really just halloween for a couple of years)
• Pushing Daisies (If only I could be as witty as they are)
• Pirates of the Caribbean
• and a couple of WW II movies (Dirty Dozen, Patton, etc...)

Books have also influenced my dress on a much smaller degree although most of this influence has been on the way I would like to dress but due to the extreme nature of the clothes, or lack of ability to find them I have not actually included them as part of my wardrobe (I have never found circa 1780-1800's British Naval Officers garb, but if any stumble upon it I'm holding you responsible for informing me). So although I may never live the life, I can look the part. This has occasionally resulted in people saying that I look like a charcter out of a movie, but due to their lack of movie knowledge they are usually miles away from what I was trying to achieve i.e. saying I look like James Bond when I'm dressed like Philip Marlowe (you are only 30 or 40 years off) or Inspector Gadget (seriously who would dress up as Inspector Gadget? Did he ever solve a crime without the help of his dog or that girl? Come on, if I am dressing as them they are going to be at least pretty cool and have some class).

"Ten million and you are still driving this piece of junk?"

"I spent it all on the suit."

BLACK ICE = PURE AWESOME

Every once in awhile an album impacts the music world so much I need to blog about it. Such an event happened on Monday when the worlds greatest rock band, AC/DC, came out with their 18th album rocking their new hit "Rock and Roll Train" which excretes undiluted excellence. Most people I inform of this event respond with "Wow I didn't even know they were still alive?" To my ignorant friends I respond "They are and they are rocking now as much as ever." This album marks their 35th year of wowing the world with their High Voltage rock. Even despite setbacks such as the death of their lead singer, Bon Scott, in February 1980 they were Back in Black with a new album release later that year with new singer Brian Johnson. That album went on to be the 2nd best selling album of the 1980's. We roll tonight to the guitar bite thanks to AC/DC.

Canoeing vs. Kayaking

Recently I completed my first canoe trip worth mentioning and couldn't help but compare my experience canoeing with my experience that I had kayaking in Alaska. Let me briefly outline both trips so you can better understand my arguments. Kayaking in Alaska: some friends and I rented some Sea Kayaks and paddled on the ocean to an inlet which turned out to be about 60 miles in 3 days. We spent nearly all day kayaking (I thought my arms fell off a few times during the first day but I eventually got used to it) and it was tons of fun. Canoeing in Idaho: I went with my class of 10 plus Instructor we were gone 2 days and maybe went 10 miles (take in account that my distance judging skills are barely something you can call a skill mostly I just say how far I think I wanted to go.) Previous to my Kayaking experience I had never spent any amount of time in a kayak whereas I am the proud bearer of the canoeing merit badge. Now that my experiences of the two nautical craft are placed on the table let me give you my list of why I think canoeing to be superior to kayaking.

1. Canoeing takes a great deal more skill to maneuver successfully, whereas any dolt can drive a kayak.

2. Canoeing can be done in a variety of positions (sitting with legs bent, sitting with legs straight, kneeling, standing, etc...) Kayaking can only be done in one position.

3. Transporting pets, small children, invalids, and the elderly are all possible by canoe but extremely difficult by kayak.

4. Canoeing requires less gear (canoe, paddle, pfd.) Kayaking (kayak, paddle, pfd, spray skirt.)

5. Canoes are easier to portage; for you landlubbers that means to carry your watercraft over ground.

6. Canoes are easier to get into and out of without getting wet.

7. Fishing, picture taking, rescuing people, bailing out other boats and playing vigorous air guitar are all easier to do/possible in a canoe.

8. You have greater access to your stuff in a canoe.

9. If it gets hot and you feel like going for a swim you can get out and back into your canoe without swamping it and without being a world class athlete.

10. Making out in a canoe is way easier than in a kayak.

Things' kayaking has over canoes:
1. Kayaks look cooler.

2. It is easier to go down big, fast rapids in kayaks.

3. A lot of people think kayaking is cooler (they are wrong.)

4. You get to take more stuff with you i.e. spray skirt.

5. If you flip your kayak you get to do that cool roll thing where you un-flip it.

As you can see whereas kayaking is cool, it is inferior to canoeing in almost all areas except for those of you whose vanity determines all areas of your life

My Life as a Worm

For all those who have never experienced spelunking in its fullness it is something you are truly missing out on. I'm not talking about namby pamby, walking full height, through a cave with a tour guide, i'm talking about inching along on your stomach like an earthworm ever worried that a slight tremor in the earth will seal your doom and bury you never to be seen by human eyes again. Recently I was privelged to indulge myself in this pasttime and it awakened all the childhood curiosity of my youth. I could almost hear the voice of my mother cautioning me to be careful, only I didn't so I carried on guilt-free and let my curiosity run wild. It was only until I came across an uncrossable chasm that I decided to turn back. To me the best thing about being in the outdoors is that freedom to go wherever I want, unburdened by the restraints of roads, crosswalks, or traffic rules. I'm not really even bound by the common decency to wear clothes although I keep them on mainly so as to not offend others. That and it usually pretty cold.