bondilicious

Almost There...

2011-11-10T18:50:00.001-08:00

One of my favorite scenes from any movie is that classic scene in Star Wars IV where they are flying to destroy the Deathstar and that one guy keeps saying "almost there." I think he dies. Anyway we have around 100 miles till we are boarding a plane to return to "normal" life. Actually I hope my life is never normal but that is another topic from the one I would like to discuss right now. So I have a few things to catch you up on. Louisiana aside from New Orleans was pretty scary. For some reason they don't believe in shoulders on the highway or bike paths or bridges accessible to bikes. We had to hitch rides across two bridges. Also the mosquitoes were terrible. Mississippi was pretty boring except couch surfing with a guy named Brian. We discussed all of the things you are not supposed to talk about like politics and religion. Then we caught a ferry in Alabama which was the highlight of that state. That and leaving it. We missed Mobile by taking the ferry, I'm afraid of leprechauns. Then we finally made it in to Florida. Florida has a different feel from the other southern states. It feels more like the west. Or north. Right across the Alabama/Florida border was a rib place and I got some tasty ribs and we eventually pulled into Pensacola, FL. Turns out Pensacola is one of the oldest cities in the USA but shortly after it was founded it was annihilated by a hurricane so a lot of times oldest city goes to St. Augustine which actually is oldest continually inhabited city or something like that. I know I'm forgetting Vinland discovered by my ancestor Leif Ericcson. I've tried using my ancestors as a pick-up line... it doesn't work. Anyway we were set up to stay with another guy from couch surfing in Pensacola. He called and told us that because another vouch surfer was staying with him he didn't have room at his house but he did have a sailboat we could sleep on. Awesome*. So that night we went out and picked up tons of chicks and had a party on the boat. I also found a Ian Fleming James Bond novel on board, awesome*. Then we biked some more and hit up church while staying with Zach and Ashley, more couchsurfers, and watched "Walking Dead."Then while biking we ran into the biking portion of Iron Man Florida. We watched them race by while eating lunch. Lunch was steamed seasoned shrimp, potatoes and key lime pie. I love being on the bikers diet. Eventually we were in Tallahassee in time for the fair. We stayed with Liz who "works" for the government and she and another friend took us to the fair. I got to pet a camel. From Tallahassee the next big location is St. Augustine. Riding for long distances isn't really that hard I've decided. The only hard parts are sitting on a bike seat all day and wind. Oh and hills. But really the bike seat is the worse part. It feels like ripping off a band aid when I ever I get off it. A few hundred miles ago, actually in New Mexico I think, I stopped wearing my bike shorts with a padded seat. It made my riding experience much better. In fact I've only wore them once since I stopped. Now I think they are only for wimps and communists. Along with bike shirts. Actually I think they do have a place but are way overrated.

* must be said in sing songy voice.

NOLA

2011-11-01T07:06:00.001-07:00

For the uninformed NOLA refers to New Orleans Louisiana and it is a common abbreviation used down there and yes I did go there and yes it was over Halloween weekend and YES it was the best Halloween weekend. Halloween is not as big as Mardi Gras but is pretty high on the list of New Orleans debauchery. And I loved every second of it. Like everything it depends on what your looking for. If you are looking to pick up a S.T.I., sexually transmitted infection, it is the pc way to refer to these things now, and spend a night in a gutter or puke out of a street car window, saw that and smelled it, you can find it. Or, if you want to have fun dancing to free music, looking at awesome costumes, and eating, all that is there as well. It is pretty hard to describe NOLA without experiencing it yourself, the craziness, smell, and history somehow don't put themselves into words. You have to be there and experience it yourself. But because I'm a man and more importantly an American, I'll describe the commencement of what I hope turns out to be a long and fruitful (I'm not sure if that was the right word to use) relationship. We got to the outskirts of town and were stuck because the only way in is over a bridge not friendly or safe for cyclists. So we ended up paying some drunks, at this period only partly drunk, to take us over in their truck. After a longer than necessary discussion of how dangerous New Orleans is, especially in the "darker" sides of town we were finally free of their help. We worked our way past beautiful old mansions to a church where we were just in time for the Halloween party and free dinner. There we met some people that were headed down to the French quarter, Bourbon St, etc... I told them I had a great smelly hippy costume and they asked if we wanted to join them. I ended up just taping a sign on my chest which read "nudist on strike." Not my idea but clever enough to make the checkout lady at walgreens very distraught and numerous other comments throughout the night as to when I could return to work. We rode the street car that goes straight to Bourbon St and were greeted by a hail of notes from a street corner band. From there our hosts escorted us through the crowded and noisy streets showing us places to eat, listen to jazz, interesting historical facts and, probably most important, reminding us to not step in the puddles. We eventually found a free jazz club to dance at, grabbed a late night meal complete with cops escorting a drunk patron out, to finally our street car ride back where we got to watch and smell the after affects of to much alcohol. We got back to our bikes which we had cleverly hidden right around 3:30. I can't remember exactly when we stepped into the French quarter but I thought it was around 9:30 or 10. Time doesn't really exist there. When we headed out of town I really wanted to stop at Cafe Beignet on Bourbon St to get some beignets, I'll explain them when you go there, and was worried they wouldn't be open in the morning because of the nightlife it has had the last 80 years. They were open and working on full steam when we got there and that is when something one of our hosts, Rianna, told me finally sank in. "Did you know," she inquired, "that bars in New Orleans are only required to shut down for one hour a year and that is the hour right after Mardi Gras?" I realized that nowhere over in that part of town ever closes. So I got my beignets and was just in time for the live music that goes from 10 AM to 3 AM, and we were entertained by a award winning 4 string banjo player who takes requests and played one of my favorite Fats Waller songs. Finally I realized I had to leave while I still could and with a heavy heart dragged myself away. Not long after that we had peddled out of Louisiana entirely and into Mississippi (I will never get tired of spelling that word).

Remembering

2011-10-20T16:35:00.001-07:00

Although I've never seen a movie about the Alamo it is one of those epic pieces of American history that everyone has heard about but not very many know anything about. Similar in a way to Lewis and Clark. So history nerd that I am I walked into and immediately got lost in the Alamo. They have done a great job telling the story of a rather insignificant event that led to a pretty historic victory. What I gathered from the monument was that Santa Anna's vicious treatment of rebels so angered the Texans, or Texians that when Sam Houston met Santa Anna on the battlefield the battle lasted less than 18 minutes. Anyway,LOVED the Alamo and San Antonio. After that we set out to finish off Texas. East Texas is one of my favorite parts of the trip. It is so green despite the current drought, the people are friendly, and the air smells like roasting, smoking, or grilling beef. One of the main motivating factors for the ride was to eat some delicious BBQ and we decided to start trying some out. The first we tried was Bill Millers BBQ. It is kind of the fast food of BBQ. It wasn't very good. We biked into a town called Luling and met up with a guy named Mike at the grocery store who is also an avid cyclist and he showed us around town and told us one of the best BBQ places in Texas was just across the street. In fact there were two really well known BBQ places in this tiny little town, but only one was open on Tuesday and they happened to be open for breakfast. So I ate breakfast and then went to City Market. Inside there were two sections; the smokehouse where the meat is cooked and sold and then where you can buy sides. The guy selling the brisket was rude, always a good sign, and slopped my beef on some paper with a few slices of bread took my money and I went to find a place to sit. It was the best beef brisket I've ever tasted. thinking about it makes me hungry and sad. Then we got on our bikes to ride. I then realized that a breakfast like that is a perfect way to start your day if you're planning on sitting on the couch and trying to catch flys in the drool coming out of the side of your mouth. Despite our gastronomical setback we still made it where we needed to and ended up sleeping behind some semi trucks behind McDonalds.

Training Day

2011-10-18T19:11:00.000-07:00

After breakfast we hung around town until evening time. We found a place to camp not far from the UTEP, university of Texas El Paso, where there was a little road construction. Fortunately for us the road construction lasted all night and we were serenaded by jack hammers and dump trucks all night long. They even provided us a night light that resembled the sun. Even though we were sleeping right in downtown no one bothered us except a couple guys that gave me a part of a hamburger. After I explained I was not a bum and what we were doing they were a little more impressed. So after a very restful night we woke up and rode the mile or two to the trainstation and loaded up. The trainride was great! Except nobody got robbed and the train didn't get hijacked. A couple people did die but that was over in Juarez. Just kidding everyone! But from what I'm told Juarez is a really dangerous town. I really think everyone should take a train ride at some point cause they are really cool. It is a lot more laid back than flying, more like driving except you don't have to drive and you can walk around and order food inside your car. We did head over to the dining car and justified the price of the meal for the sake of the experience. I was hoping it would be like the one scene in Casino Royale, but it wasn't. Not even close. Anyway after several hours of looking at the scenery and napping and half of the Jungle Book (book not movie) we pulled into San Antonio at 10:00 pm and since we were only a couple blocks away from the Alamo swung by to check it out and then got lost trying to find a hotel we got booked into. The first thing on tv in our room, Conan the Destroyer and we laughed ourselves to sleep.

Broken Roads

2011-10-14T19:52:00.001-07:00

Neil Diamond sings a song called "Brooklyn Roads." that has nothing to do with anything but when I wrote the title I thought of that. So back in Las Cruces talking with Dillon he mentioned his dad worked with Amtrak and that there is a train that goes from El Paso to east Texas. I mentioned the possibility of taking a train through the vacant space between east Texas and west Texas and Drover's eyes lit up. Apparently he has always wanted to take a long train ride. Actually I think he has always wanted to rob a long train ride, but since this is a close second he is willing to take it. And who knows, we might still be able to rob some people. Like how I was robbed when I saw the Rio Grande. The trickle of water called "big river" (I'm pretty sure that is the translation, but I don't speak Spanish) looks like something I could produce if given a few hours and a lot of water bottles. Also Pecos Bill loses all credibility. I could have dug that river and I ain't no "western superman." Also I have been able to pick up the local lingo quite well as I just demonstrated. I'm sure a bunch of you (if anyone even reads this) are saying that it is because they use the river for irrigation and it has been dammed, blah blah blah. So we went down to the train station that was built in 1903 and found out if we could get our bikes on there and we could only the train left that morning, Thursday, and the next one doesn't come until Saturday. So we bought tickets and set out to find someplace to spend two days. Not far from the station was a institute building and we asked the CES missionary if we could camp in his backyard. In addition to letting us stay in his backyard he gave us a tour of El Paso and showed us racetracks where he used to race and train horses. He had grown up in the area and had a ton of interesting stories of a time when the west was a little more wild. He even took us out to dinner. He walked into this little Mexican restaurant and told everyone to get to work grabbed us some menus and sat down. Drover leaned and asked "do you think he owns this place?" Turns out he did along with seventeen others throughout El Paso. He told us more stories of his youth and racing horses all over the west. We told him that our favorite town we have stopped on was Duncan. He got a wry smile and said "what did you boys find to like in Duncan?" He then went on to tell us that Duncan was one of his favorite towns and that everyone there for as long as he can remember has been very nice and the town was always pretty. So back to the title as we have ridden along the streets of El Paso we have concluded it is the least bike friendly town in which we have ever been. There is never a shoulder and if you ride along the side of the road people try to hit you. We thought the side walks would be better but it appears they have gone out of their way to make them worse. Trees were trimmed just to the right height to take our heads off, sidewalks were broken and jumbled, and the buttons for crosswalks were in the weirdest places. In one ten second section I nearly got run over by a bus and hit by two different women drivers. I'm not sure people here are familiar with bikes or if they even know what they are. I had to resort to yelling "BICYCLE BICYCLE BICYCLE!!!!"at every crosswalk and then eventual just dropped the crosswalk and yelled everywhere I went. One lady was going to hit me while she was backing up until I yelled at her to stop. It has been fun biking around here and I'm hoping the rest of the trip is not like this.
So anyway James, the guy who let us camp in his backyard, tool us back to his restaurant for breakfast where they have 2 eggs, 2 pancakes, and 2 bacon for $1.99. He told us they still make money on it and from how many people were in the store, I believe him. Anyone notice the pancakes? Still not sick of them.

NM and the west Texas town

2011-10-14T18:39:00.001-07:00

The ride to Deming was mostly uneventful and we met up with the bishop who took who took us out for dinner and then let us spend the night at his house. Turns out he does a bit of wood working and metal working. He took us out to his shop and we had a look around and got a whole bunch of ideas for new projects. The next morning his lovely wife fixed us up a big breakfast of pancakes and they pointed us in the right direction out of town. I'll never be able to fully thank the people I've met on this trip. Everyone has been so awesome. Leaving Deming also meant leaving small towns for a little while and we are both sad to see them go. We pulled into Las Cruces and met up with our hosts for the night Zabeth and Dillon. They showed us around old Las Cruces and then took us back to watch Northern Exposure. I had totally forgot that show even existed. It was before the Seinfeld revolution of sit-coms but it still was enjoyable. We got up and peddled into El Paso and Texas. In Lordsburg we had met a guy who said to give him a call when we got into El Paso so we did and he told us to come over and get dinner. It turns out we were just in time for a bible study they were having and met a bunch of great people and had a bunch of fun. The next morning they fed us some pancakes they make on special occasions, has anyone been counting the number of pancakes I've eaten? And I don't think I'll ever get sick of them.

Church

2011-10-12T08:43:00.000-07:00

One thing we have noticed on our trip is that small towns are way more fun for us than big towns. Also everyone has more time in small towns. On our way into church we got invited over for lunch which turned into dinner and showers and a bed to sleep in as well. We were invited over by two brothers and their wives who live out away from town and just a little ways from each other. Both were cops at one point in their life and were a lot of fun. The next morning Lloyd and his wife, Carolyn, fixed us a big breakfast of pancakes and then Lloyd and his brother Roger asked us if we wanted to shoot a special shotgun they have. It was just a single shot, break action, shotgun but what they didn't tell us was that they loaded a magnum round and with a gun that light there is very little to stop the recoil. My shoulder still hurts and I still chuckle when I think about their prank. They dropped us off in town where we got our bikes which were locked up in the church and started our ride for Deming. We opted for the I-10 and road almost all the way to Deming on the freeway. The wind was in our face most of the day so we didn't make real great time but we enjoyed he ride all the same. Southern New Mexico has a different kind of beauty, it is very flat with mountains popping up out of the flat Haphazardly. We have an almost totally clear view of the horizon in almost every direction. And in that huge sky there is not even the hint of cloud. The sunsets in this area are spectacular.

Duncan

2011-10-12T08:22:00.000-07:00

That morning we got up to the sounds of people setting up the farmers market. They had people selling food and a local author selling his books. Everyone was complaining about the cold and another couple of people were setting up some microphones and tuning guitars for some music. It felt like all the folks in the community got together and said "we need a reason to get together once a week. We should have a farmers market." We went over to say goodbye to our friends from the night before and Sharon asked us if we had been to Three Sisters Bakery. She took us over there and got us a dozen donuts. They were soooo good. In fact we ended up going back there later that day and got apple pie pockets and meat pie pockets and everything we tried was absolutely delicious. We finally got on our bikes to get going and on the way out of town we saw Germaine's Emporium. It was an antique store that just kept expanding. It had everything you could think of even a room with all old west stuff. Hats, spurs, dusters, even guns. Duncan so far is the coolest town we have stopped in. We finally got on our bikes for real and biked to Lordsburg, New Mexico. We spent the rest of the day at McDonalds charging our phones and dumpster diving. We called the bishop in the area and he told us we could camp at the church and planned on attending the services the next day. That night was real cold again but that wasn't so bad, what kept me up all night was people walking throuh the church parking lot. The church is in the middle of a neighborhood and people used the parking lot as a shortcut home. I am sure nobody cared we were there or e even thought to rob us but I still woke up everytime a car drove too close or someone walked by.

Fairs

2011-10-08T20:49:00.000-07:00

After the Apache Rez there was little for 10 or twenty miles and then we came upon town after small town. Also along the way for about 10 miles were signs for "Taylor's Freeze" about every half mile detailing every aspect of the menu. On hot days ice cream is almost unbeatable so we stopped into check it out. Then after an hour or so break we continued on to Safford and rode right past a temple. I had heard of the Gila valley temple but had no idea that we would ride right past it. We stopped to maybe go in but we had just missed the session and the next one wasn't for two hours. Instead we headed on to Thatcher where we hung out at a McDonalds. Actually McDonalds is one of my favorite places to stop since they have free wifi, usually we can find an outlet to charge our phones, and now to top it off MONOPOLY!! also drinks are only a dollar. So I bought a drink and won a quarter pounder. Pretty good investment I think. We were at McDonalds for a while because Drover found someone on couchsurfing.com who was willing to put us up for the night. We arrived while they were still at work and waited out the rest of the time. Our host was a primary teacher named Libby who has been living in the area a couple years. Our arrival also coincided with the arrival of the Graham county fair. Libby and another teacher in the area by the name of Kristen even got us in free! It was awesome. So we checked out the fair and the highlights were our hosts/fairguides, a hypnotist show two crazy guys selling some of the best kettle corn I've ever had. Also another near highlight was a comedian? (I'm not sure what else to call him) that did lip syncing to semi comedic songs. He said he performs over 120 times a year but I have no idea how. Also no idea how you get popular telling really bad jokes and lip syncing to other peoples songs. Mili and Vanili. I don't know how to tie them in but I want to make sure everyone knows I'm mocking them to. Anyway the fair was a blast. The next morning we went to breakfast with Libby and Kristen and caught the town parade with 4 marching bands and a handful of interesting floats and a lot more I couldn't understand. After the parade we said goodbye to our new friends and biked out to our next destination Duncan. We had kinda outran a storm coming into Safford and on our way out it looked like it was going to catch up. The wind stayed mostly on our backs and we caught a little rain but nothing bad at all. Watching a storm come over the desert is pretty cool. I brought a long a mp3 player (are they even called that anymore?) on the trip and have been exploring the dark recesses of my music selection and on this ride I was peddling along when music from Once Upon a Time in the West and The Good, the Bad and the Ugly came streaming through. I'm pretty sure everyone knows my affection for western themed film bit this took the enjoyment to a new height. My grin was hitting mile post markers on either side of the road. If Clint Eastwood would have driven by and tipped his hat I probably would have ridden into an oncoming semi to end life at the top. I'll talk about other music later.
We were climbing little by little into Duncan and finally topped out at and coasted down the hill into the tiny town. The population sign said 2000 but I was informed it was more like 700. It has been around since the mid 1880's and looked so cool with white lampposts and the western style store fronts. Just before riding into town I heard Drover coming upon on me when I thought "why is he in such a hurry? Also why is he barking?" I turned around to discover a ferocious dog, not Drover, gaining on me. I hurled an insult at that I think was technically correct even though I didn't have time to ascertain the dogs gender. I increased my speed from 12 mph to 16.5 at which point the dog decided that it wasn't worth the effort and turned around to bark at Drover. I'm sure bringing down a biker is just one rung lower than getting hit by a car in dog toughness hierarchy and was glad to disappoint. As we were riding through town looking for a place to camp we came up upon an art store/visitor center which to date has been the best find on the trip. Inside Alan and Sharon greeted us warmly showed us the art work for sale the criteria being: 1 it is local, 2 locals made it. They told us we could camp in the park across the parking lot. While talking we discovered that Sharon had gone to the same college as us and that there was a farmers market in the park we were camping in the next morning. We set up camp and got ready for sleep being very aware of the drop in the temperature. It had been getting cool since our night on the Apache reservation but that night it was very cool and got down in the low thirties. We stayed warm though through our expert status as cold weather campers and I was happy that the colder weather gear I brought along didn't end up just being dead weight the whole trip.

Roadkill

2011-10-07T19:29:00.000-07:00

The road we have been traveling on has more road kill than I've every seen. I've seen dead birds, coyotes, skunks, snakes, and even a bloated rottweiler. As we were leaving Superior Charles talked to us about the road to Globe, which goes over a mountain, and how dangerous it is. Turns out the shoulder is there sometimes and there are several bridges and a long tunnel to go through which the shoulder entirely disappears. And also this road is frequented by truckers and trucks towing large loads. Scary though it was we made it with only minor outbreaks of profanity. We got go the top of the hill and started he ride down. Drover suggested I go first since I am by nature a little more cautious and would be more liberal on the break then he would. Going up was tough physically but down was really a test for the nerves. There is the lane with the cars in it that can only be ventured in occasionally and very briefly, the line that has the reflector bumps, an occasional shoulder which varies in width from a foot to four feet wide and then the different varieties a thorned plants, crucifixtion thorn, catclaw etc... So on the down our speeds ranged from fifteen miles an hour to my topspeed of 35.6. Drover got his up to 39.5. There is a balance between the fear and focus that comes into play when doing dangerous things. When you cross the threshold from fear to focus your skill improves greatly. First drop on that hill with catclaw and a cliff on one side and a semi on the other going 28 miles per hour i was in all fear. But as we continued down and speed increased so did my focus until that was all there was and I was hunched over and peddling to get as much speed as I can. When you make the switch into full focus it is one of the coolest feelings there is. I remember one other time skiing at Targhee on a powder day where all there was in the world was my skis and the fluffy snow and I'm sure I did the best skiing of my life. So we made it into Miami, Arizona which is right next to Globe did some shopping. Apparently Wal-mart doesn't like it when you bring your bike in the store. I thought I was being polite by not riding it but they still weren't to happy.
After we cleared Globe our next big stretch was through the Apache Rez. We bad been warned to be real careful during that part of the ride but I was unsure why because every one on the reservation was super nice to us. The next day someone even thanked us for going through at a grocery store. Anyway we got a delicious Apache burger at a gas station and found a place to camp. It was one of the few times we actually set up before dark and since we were a little ways away from the road we built a small fire and sat around and ate and talked like your supposed to do when you go camping. At three o clock that morning I was convinced it was about to rain and had to find a place to set up my tarp. Of course it didn't. After working with the youngwalkers at Anasazi I have come to cherish camping where I don't have to take care of other people.
The next day, Thursday, we got up and saw a brewing storm behind us and decided to make tracks for Safford in hopes of beating the storm. For a great portion of the morning we fought through the wind making only what felt like a little progress and then shortly after we left the Apache reservation the winds changed and started blowing us to our destination. After we had peddled so hard for so little we were rewarded with twenty mile an hour speeds with what felt like no effort. When you bike in the wind you are constantly aware of it, but when you bike with the wind all it just feels really easy. You don't feel anything because you are going the speed of the wind. I'm sure there is some really super deep and insightful analogy I could make with this but I haven't. I do appreciate a good tailwind probably more than the next guy.

On the road again...

2011-10-06T15:13:00.001-07:00

So after a week break in Mesa we finally hit the road again and set off to a little town called Superior. It was even harder to leave our friends a second time but we managed to tear ourselves away and continue on the trip. We had made it a good ways up the road and were just to the top of a big hill taking a break when this car stops by and asks us where we were headed and when we responded Superior he asked if we wanted a place to stay. Of course we did. Right after he left I realized my bike had a flat tire. Then I realized I used up all my spare tubes and didn't have a patch kit. Drover also used all his spares. Since it was a slow leak I pumped it up and had to pump it up again every mile or so. On top of this my right knee which had been hurting a little had start to hurt a lot, my energy was low and I was starting to feel sick. I finally couldn't do it anymore and told Drover to bike the last two miles into town and meet up with Charles, the guy that was letting us stay at his place, and I would walk my bike into town and just meet up later. Drover rode off and I sat down to regroup mentally for a few minutes and then got up to start walking. About a hundred yards after I started walking a man in a big truck stopped and I threw my bike in the bed of his truck and passed Drover riding. He dropped me off at a Circle K, and nothing strange was afoot, and shortly after I unloaded my bike Drover peddled up and we walked our bikes the two blocks to the place we were staying, nearly losing the flesh around our ankles to a pack of wild chihuahuas. We pulled into the house and Charles welcomed us inside. At this point my head was going fuzzy, and my stomach hurt so bad. I tried to pay attention to the conversation but ended up just escaping to the bathroom. Pretty soon Charles left leaving his guest house, currently being renovated, in our care and I took up residency on the couch hoping to find some position where I was not in pain. Charles had told us to help ourselves to the food in the cupboard so Drover started cooking while I laid on the couch. Eventually the time came and I rushed to the bathroom and ralphed all that was in my stomach. After that I took a few bites of what Drover had cooked and then laid back down, my stomach still hurting but feeling much better. Eventually I checked out the fridge and saw several cans of Sprite which of course is great for sore stomachs. Now feeling much better we explored the few DVDs laying around and were excited to find The Expendables among the collection. We popped it in and enjoyed it on Charles' HD flatscreen. It is sometimes nice to know someone is looking out for you.
So the house that we were staying in had its own story. It at one time was condemned but was being renovated by Charles and his wife, Mary. It is going to be in a house show mid October and has several parts that are finished and many that are still in progress, the primary one being the six inch gap under the front door. It does a good job keeping people out but cats have no problem getting through and we enjoyed tripping over them. Mary is an artist so the inside of the house was really cool and we each had our own room with a bed which was a real treat since I have been sleeping on a cot or the ground for the last five months. The next day we set out to find some bike tubes of which there are none for road touring bikes in Superior. We did get a hold of a patch kit along with some groceries. We figured we should make the most of our time with a kitchen. After I patched up my tires, while I was at the house my other tire went flat, it started raining and blowing and we determined our current condition was far to comfortable to venture out of and we waited the storm out and decided to head out the next day and spent the evening, cooking, eating, and enjoying the history channel.

Mesa

2011-10-05T20:36:00.001-07:00

We stayed in Mesa a week and partied.

Deserts, diapers and dehydration part 2

2011-10-04T20:28:00.000-07:00

So continuing on from the last post... We took off from the truck stop and made it to a flat spot a little ways from the freeway and camped for the night planning to bike to water at a truck stop 15 miles away. Before we headed out we were real nervous because we knew we were going to have a big hill to climb especially after the last hill we had to climb out of Indio. So we were pretty apprehensive but I ate a big meal of top ramen and hit the hill. A few miles out of town there was a rest stop already a ways up the hill and we got there pretty quick and were surprised at how easy it was. After a few bike malfunctions and long enough to get annoyed with night riding we called it a day and dry camped for the night. We biked to the truck stop and after breakfast and a little break set off to another rest stop. We got to the rest stop just as the thermometer topped out around 108. At the rest stop Drover and I both had knees that were hurting bad and were pretty discouraged because of the heat and distance to next water, around 50 miles. We laid around for awhile toying with the idea of hitchhiking into Mesa. It was a long way to water and if our knees started acting up we could be in a bad place. After resting for a while we finally decided just to go for it. We saddled up and threw bandanas across our faces in attempt to keep in a little moisture and peddled off. We decided to take breaks every hour to drink hot water and cool down a little. Amazingly enough at the top of every hour we came up on an overpass and were able to break in the only shade for miles. It was so hot that any breeze felt like a blow dryer and brought no relief. My mouth would get so dry I couldn't swallow until I had let water sit in my mouth long enough to lubricate things and then I could drink. Another time resting in the shade of an underpass I felt my body overheating. It felt just like an engine and I couldn't even keep my arms next to my torso because it was just to hot so I poured a little water on my chest which at first seemed to make things worse, the water was very warm, but then began to cool me down. At last we had biked the several hours across the desert and came to a rest stop which had the coldest and beat tasting water j have ever had at a rest stop. After that we climbed a little hill and stopped for the night in an empty lot next to a truck stop. The truck stop had a subway and we told our story to a few people sitting outside who were pretty impressed. One guy eating his sandwich next to his Maserati told us people told him not to ride across that section on a motorcycle. What we would have given for a motorcycle. So we downed some subway and started looking for an unattended power outlet. One of the things that I've found I take for granted are these. When your not homeless or have friends that you are staying with it is easy to charge your phone, but when you are camping it can be a little difficult. Also we rely on our iPhones a lot especially the gps/maps. So we found a store owner with an outside outlet who was happy to let us use it. While we were standing outside we see the sheriffs car pull in and a police officer steps out and asks us what we were doing. Fortunately the store owner came out and took care of things for us. The officer, after chatting with the store owner, Eddy, turned to us and told us we were awesome. The next day we got up and biked the 70+ miles into Mesa stopping at a gas station as soon as my ice melted. We pulled into our friends house just before 6.

Diapers, Deserts, and Dehydration

2011-09-23T22:39:00.000-07:00

So in the time that has expired since my last blog we have crossed the desert of California and Arizona, or at least part of it. We originally thought it would be a good idea to get up early and bike then find a place to rest for the hot part of the day and then bike as long as we could stand into the night, find a place to sleep and then do it again. Our first night we tried it we faced probably the biggest climb of the ride. A ten mile ride up a ten percent grade took us three and we pulled into a rest stop around midnight totally exhausted. It looked like a downhill was coming up so we considered continuing the ride bit decided to stop and get very little sleep next to the rest stop and freeway. It wasn't quite as bad as the night we accidentally slept right next to the train tracks but it was close. Although the sleep was bad it was good that we did be cause two miles down the road we ran into road construction so we jumped off the freeway, it is the only paved road that goes through this part of the country, jumped a barbwire fence and then found a dirt road and pushed, rode and carried our bikes for two miles where the road construction had stopped pushed our bikes back over the desert jumped the fence and started riding again which brouht us along to the highlight of the trip for me thus far, The General George S. Patton Memorial Museum! Oh it was so cool. So you are probably wondering as I was why is there a Patton museum literally in the middle of nowhere California. Well the answer is that shortly after WWII started or at least after the U.S. got involved Patton set up a training camp of 18,000 square miles to get American soldiers ready for the African desert. The soldiers called it "the land God forgot," and I whole heartedly agree. So there were a bunch of cool old tanks and stuff to look at totally worth checking out if you are nerdy like that. So we spent most of the hot part of the day at Chiriaco Summit hanging out at the museum and talking to strangers at the gas station. Dan had some particularly good advice about traveling since he had hitchhiked and walked all over the country, much of which we have already applied to our travel. So this point was the start of our desert travel since after Chiriaco Summit it was 50 miles of desert to the next certain water source. It ended up that we were able to get some water from a run down cafe that charged to use the bathroom so our total distance without water was cut in half and we made it the 50 or so miles to water that was not handed out by a failing restaurant owner. We found a rest stop ate in the yellow glow of a lightpost and crashed. He next day we made it to a real town, Blythe, California, and got our groceries where a lady asked where our biking clothes were. Apparently the huge pad that and is the only thing that even attempts to make my bike seat comfortable is not visible underneath the pants I wear over it. I think that is a good thing? So we put Blythe to our backs and jumped in the Colorado river marking the stateline between California and Arizona and promptly got stuck at a truckstop not wanting to bike in the 107 degree heat. Okay it is late I'll finish this story later.

Training

2011-09-19T21:35:00.000-07:00

Prior to the trip many people asked us how our training was going and what we were doing to get in shape for the ride. The answer was always the same. "Training? What for?" We did plan however to start a little slower and gradually work up to big mile days. It is only our third biking day of the trip but we were both were feeling good and made it 68 miles. We were passed by a few unladen, Lycra clad bikers today as we were flying up hills and both came to the awakening that we would rather not train than train without gear and than constantly have that thought at the back of your mind telling you how much faster and easier this would be if you weren't carrying your life on the back of your bike. Another awakening was bike trips are considerably more fun when the ride is downhill. Other than a few roads ending, trespassings, freeway biking, dinosaurs, and warnings from tattoo sleeved ladies of "tweakers" in the area today was pretty uneventful.

P.s. Is if bad I had to ask Drover what a "tweaker" is?

Adventure Time

2011-09-17T22:39:00.001-07:00

So when the crap really hits the fan at work in an effort to reassure myself that somewhere unicorns are frolicking I'll say to my co-worker "well I guess this is just adventure time with Christian and (fill in the blank)." Just before coming on this trip I left my credit card at a restaurant. I haven't got my check from work and won't until I bike back to Mesa so that left me with 80 dollars to live on for two weeks. Adventure Time! I know that probably sounds like a lot but it has been dwindling quickly especially with some last minute bike expenses. I'm actually really excited for the opportunity and so far it has been very rewarding. First my aunt and uncle that live in Los Angeles bought me lunch and then we found a Samoan wedding reception at a church we wanted to camp at and they gave us some free food and to top it all off California has winco's spread through out. We found our first Winco on the drive down and Nate had never been so we insisted on stopping and immediately went to the big bins of trail mix and rice they have. And were we excited about all the delicious candies and things like that? No. We nerdy trailwalkers immediately found and started extracting food from the apricot and almond bins.* ** So thanks to Winco and the generous donations of others I hopefully won't arrive in Mesa looking like an emaciated hippie. Looks like we will be camping at a Stake center tonight and hopefully the bishop will let us shower and get cleaned up so we can church it up with the Samoan ward tomorrow.

* dried apricots and almonds are part of the Anasazi food pack given to all youngwalkers and trailwalkers. In other words we eat them all the time.

** I get my asterisk skills from reading Maggie Franz's blog. If you don't read it you should if only to be amazed by her asterisk skills.

It's official. Were doin it!

2011-09-17T00:45:00.001-07:00

Biking across Los Angeles at 11:00 at night is a once in a life time experience probably because it should only be done once and then you learn from your mistakes. Despite the lack of training we made up and down the small hills of Los Angeles and to our destination for the evening. I met up with an old friend on the pier and she offered us a place to stay for the night and refused to let us camp in their front yard. Drover and I were down for either. We said our goodbyes to Nate who dropped us off and filmed our departure from the pier. The ride was nerve racking but uneventful except for a ride past a lot where they store cars for movies. Drover and I got pictures taken next to a swat van straight outta Gotham. It was late so we didn't stay long and I didn't have to detain Drover from investigating further. 24 miles down, 2700 to go.

September 15, 2011

2011-09-16T10:34:00.000-07:00

My forgotten blog has been rembered once again on the eve of my trans-continental bike tour. Brief catch up on my life; I'm nearly a college grad, argh, working as a behavioral health para-professional at the original wilderness therapy program, Anasazi, about to drop life as most people know it to ride my 27 speed surly long haul trucker from Santa Monica pier, California to St. Augustine, Florida. I dumped my blanket and boots wednesday night and loaded up my bike gear Thursday afternoon and headed off after a last supper graciously provided at my expense by Texas roadhouse. Then finally and suddenly I was sitting in the truck of a friend headed to our jump off point and that catches me up to now, my excitement only exceeded by nervousness. I can never help but be slightly terrified before jumping into the unknown but am comforted by the possibility of someone stumbling upon this blog and then offering millions of dollars to reproduce my life on the silver screen and then haunted again thinking of the outcomes of two of the more recent wilderness warrior films where one protagonist removed a limb and the other starved to death in a bus. Anyway adventure beckons and the call is to irresistible to ignore.

Tombstone Territorial Park

2010-06-28T19:09:00.000-07:00

Last week we took a break from the river and went up to Tombstone Territorial Park in Yukon Territory, Canada. We got to the visitor center and got a photo copied map of the trail we were going to take which also happened to be the only full trail in the entire park. The trail "followed" Grizzly Creek up to Grizzly Lake (wonderful place to go camping in especially minus "Ol Bangy"). So the hike up turns out to be a lot harder than planned rising 2000 feet in under 2 miles over every sort of terrain you can imagine but after 7 miles we eventually end up in our camping spot. The next day we lazed around nearly the whole day but as evening approached I decided that I should get some exploring done and set off at 9:00 pm to explore the lake and surrounding areas. The next 4 hours can only be described with such cheesiness as "complete bliss..." please don't make me finish. I ran up big rock piles, jumped streams, drank straight from the flowing water, took some "action shots" of my wanderings, almost died or caused myself major injuries (a big rock fell on my hand and I immediately repented of all the bad things I ever said about Aron Ralston) and topped off the whole evening by finding a natural water slide coming off a glacier a ways up. Natural water slides are not things easily passed up so I took a look around, stripped naked, and ran to the top and slid down. After I was able to breathe again I quickly dressed and ran back to the tent before my fellow backpackers came looking for my corpse. I got back 45 minutes before they had decided to go looking for me and received only a mild tongue lashing for my thoughtlessness of telling no one where I was going. Sometimes, however, you have to run up to the mountains with out letting the cavalry know and just accept your fate that if you get killed you died doing something you loved.

P.s. I took a video of my water slide and probably am gonna post it on Facebook, the edited version of course.

Real Canadian

2010-06-28T19:05:00.000-07:00

Real conversation heard by me while walking past a hotel.

Carla-"We are travelling through and would like a shower, how much would it cost to use your hotel to shower?"

Canadian-(Imagine in your best Canadian/Minnesota accent) "Oh jeez, uh, I don't know eh, uh, you should, uh, probably come back tomorrow and talk to the manager about it eh?"

I know the full beauty of the moment could never be fully captured in text but I figured I'd give it a shot.

Dawson, Tombstone and Banjos

2010-06-23T15:09:00.000-07:00

There is nothing better than when you are miles of civilization and seeing signs of a fresh meal that you don't have to prepare. We were floating down the river and saw a sign sure to get our attention, "Bakery and Campground." As we strolled up the grassy knoll, I couldn't help but hear the telltale sounds of the Deliverance banjo ringing through my head. To most, that is a clear sign to immediately abort, but when you've been on the river, your judgement is hazy (did you see Deliverance?) at the prospect of a tasty "meal". As we walked up, it was already too late. We had already been sucked in by the tractor beam suggesting that we HAD to purchase something at this point, be it a $7 loaf of bread, or a $5 "jumbo hot dog". (Not so jumbo, or hot for that matter.) After narrowly escaping this backwoods plot, we travelled successfully to Dawson City, where the real adventure began. I will probably live in Dawson at some point in my life.

Carmacks

2010-06-11T10:28:00.000-07:00

So the trip up has been pretty great so far. We drove from Portland to Whitehorse in 3 days. Anyway we were happy to get there. Soo on our way up we saw a bunch of bear but since we have been on the river we have pretty much only seen fish, moose (giving birth to another moose, I might post the picture later), beaver, and tons of birds. The river has been great and the weather has been pretty good too. We put in on the river at 10:45 at night because guess what it never gets dark here. I had always heard people talk about how it is light here always, but you don't really understand until you experience it. So our basic day goes like this wake up, eat, row, eat, row, eat, sleep. Sometimes we mix it up and skip one of the eats and just row. Right now we are in the thriving metropolis of Carmacks, Yukon Territory and are looking at putting into the river any time now. Our next stop will be Dawson hopefully in 5-7 days.

Fishing for marlin with a bear. Wait, is that right?

2010-03-15T21:27:00.000-07:00

So I have alluded recently in the past to an upcoming trip in AK. Well to the uninformed this trip will commence actually in Canada (I know, I will probably hold my breath the whole time until back in America) and then will continue down the Yukon until we reach the Pacific Ocean. This is real deal, huge, man-eating, scary, bear country. So since I'll be living among these beautiful beasts and since they have huge claws, teeth, and muscles not to mention super human smell and heat vision, (I may have made up that last one) I thought it would only be fair if I evened up the playing field a little bit by taking along a new friend of mine. Although we have yet to be officially introduced I'm sure we will get along fine.
Her measurements are:
Caliber 45-70
Barrel 18 inches
Capacity 4+1
Beautiful isn't she? So to people that may not be as gun savvy as others the 45-70 is a little smaller bullet than the one used by Tom Selleck's Character in "Quigley Down Under." Quigley used a 45-110 and this is a 45-70 (think of getting hit by a train with 11 cars behind it rather than just 7.) The 45 is the next size down from the 50 caliber. Even with my new friend I think I would rather still just not see any bears. They are big and scary.

I guess a little ranting never hurt anybody. As long as it is just a little bit.

2010-03-11T18:44:00.000-08:00

So for one of my classes I have to make a survey and document the results. I chose to do mine on adventure, go figure, and recently sent out my surveys to 100 unsuspecting students of BYU-Idaho. So basically the survey asks what people do for adventure, who they seek it with, etc... One of the questions I asked was something along the lines of where do you seek adventure.
HERE IS THE IMPORTANT PART
one of the people answered "In my house on my computer." Really? Really? that is the best you could come up with? Now I know I'm not any sort scholar on adventure (is there even such a thing?) but I do know that if you want to have an adventure there has to be some form of risk. Does this guy really think that his fake, imaginary character on his video game puts his life in some sort of risk? I mean even trying a new restaurant involves some risk. How would it feel to have you whole life lived in virtual reality? At the end of my life when I meet God (hopefully, and hopefully not too soon) when he asks me how I enjoyed life I'll get to say to him "I loved it. I loved seeing your creations, I loved using my muscles to reach mountain tops and canyon bottoms, I loved spending real time with other people, I loved the whole experience. Hell, I would probably be up for the experience again." Let me end here with a little quote from one of friends, maybe you've heard of him maybe you haven't but John Muir said, "No right way is easy in the rough world. We must risk our lives to save them."

2010-03-02T07:32:00.000-08:00

As the snow around town kind of starts to melt and the snow up at the resorts turns more and more into ice, the obvious signs of spring are evident. As much as I have loved this winter I am pretty super stoked for summer. So now for my top ten reasons I'm looking forward to summer.

10. Growing an enormous BYU-I unapproved mustache
9. Chacos
8. Listening to the rain with the door open
7. Camping all the time
6. Not wearing full length pants
5. Not wearing shirts
4. Finding ridiculous sunglasses and never taking them off
3. Running shorts (mine are shamefully short)
2. The way the air feels late at night
1. Oh did I mention that I'm going to ALASKA!!! WOO HOOOOOO!!!

But as the joys of spring/summer approach I can't forget the happiness that comes with winter like...

10. Wearing wool almost constantly
9. Building snow caves
8. Sleeping in snow caves
7. The cold on the only part of my exposed face below my goggles and above my scarf
6. Hot chocolate
5. Talking to people on ski lifts
4. Watching people slip and fall on ice
3. Fresh new powder
2. Following beginner snowboarders
1. Watching everyone hiding from the cold in their houses and packing my skis out for another day of skiing

6:45 @ Safeway

2009-04-09T15:28:00.000-07:00

She was beautiful. She might have been more beautiful if her skin had retained its original color. That and the blood stains on her chin weren’t that appealing. If only she were still alive. She banged and scratched trying to get in to the grocery that we had barricaded. Her blonde hair blew in the breeze. She could have been a model, or an actress or anything she wanted. I bet she never had to pay a speeding ticket in her life. It seems true love is always like that, so close yet so far away. If only I had met her before the reanimated corpses had invaded our city. Now here we were, eyes locked through the plexi-glass, me wanting her, her wanting me. Ten feet away, yet separated by a million miles.
We had converted Safeway into a castle of defense as soon as the undead started becoming a real threat. It started in the southwest, people in morgues had started getting up and walking around. It wasn’t until a live person got bitten by one that we realized we had a problem. The government sealed off the town where it started, but it was too late. They had already spread. Some whole towns fell prey to the disease. We had enough of a head start here to prepare for it but even still many in our town now had joined ranks with the so called “zombies.” A few of us had managed to seal off the grocery store. There is enough food in here to keep us going for a while as long as the barricaded doors hold off the hundreds of hands pounding on them.
That brings us to now. Several people in the store were in the back preparing our meal for the night. I stood in the doorway with a shot gun on my hip making sure that doors were holding. I couldn’t keep my eyes off her though. I would look into those beautiful blood stained eyes and see the rest of my life there. I could see the picnics we went on followed by long walks through the park. We had the same taste in movies, music and literature. Her favorite book was The Count of Monte Cristo, mine was The Three Musketeers. After our long walks we would sit in the shade of the trees and read Poe to each other. She loved the “Cask of Amontillado,” we had read it 4 or 5 times together and I could listen to it at least a thousand times more from her lips.
“Dinner’s ready!” Interrupted my thoughts and I walked back and joined with the others for our evening meal. We utilized the fresh food and vegetables knowing they would spoil first. I ate until full saying nothing to my companions. I was too lost in thought to speak. They laughed and carried on as if nothing in the world was wrong. I can’t blame them; it is the best way to act in this type of situation. I would have joined in but my heart was not in it. It was out there, with her.
I resumed my post after eating and watched the zombies outside pounding on the glass and trying to find a way in. They built these groceries pretty tough, way tougher than most people think. Someone suggested we climb up top and drop some homemade bombs on them to lessen the strain on the glass, but one misplaced explosive could shatter the glass and then we would have more problems than we could count.
I still couldn’t take my eyes off her. Her name had to be Elizabeth or Victoria, only the name of a queen would be good enough for her. As I day dreamed about the love we could have shared a failed to notice one corner of the glass had come loose. The zombies noticed right away and immediately focused their attention on it. When I realized what had happened it was too late. I clicked off the safety on my shotgun and waited for the first zombie through. First one came through and was neutralized, second and so on until my eight shots were gone. I reached down to reload just as the whole window popped out. She was the first one through coming right for me. She walked toward me with outstretched arms. Each step brought her closer until her arms reached around my shoulders and leaned in. I leaned in as well and kissed her on the lips. She didn’t kiss back, just bit.

BLOGGING ALERT!!!

2009-04-09T08:03:00.000-07:00

As I'm sure many of you have noticed, I'm a lazy blogger. I know many of you are anxiously waiting for each new post and disappointed when they are months apart, therefore I'm changing the layout of my blog. From this time forth my blog will consist mostly of trip reports and short stories. I will occasionally blog about my thoughts on life. If any of you are mad about this, who cares. I don't and it is my blog so you can just keep your mouth shut and save me the trouble of shutting it for you. Also a word about my short stories, I'm not an English major and so they have grammatical problems, If this offends you go ahead and read the sentence that precedes this one. If this change fills you with ecstasy, excellent.
Sincerely,
Christian Bond
Editor in Chief

Short Stories and Stuff

2009-03-31T17:47:00.001-07:00

Yes that alliteration was intentional. So I have decided to post a little short story I wrote for one of my classes. Feel free to post any improvement suggestions you have but be warned that the likelihood of me taking anything you suggest into consideration is probably nill. So grab a Dr. Pepper and some air popped pop-corn with way to much butter and enjoy.

The swirling sand made it all but impossible to see the footprint. Just a slight indentation in the ground made it barely possible to see. I crouched down to see which direction the foot was heading in. Heading west. I hopped back up on top of Nelson and spurred him on. This guy was a real bad guy. Wanted for two murders back in Dandridge County and from the way he carried those out probably even more than that in other counties. But for $10,000 I’ll track anybody, even without being commissioned by the Marshall.
I surveyed the desolate landscape looking for any more signs. No luck. Just saguaros and sage brush. I tipped my hat back and readjusted my bandanna across my neck in an attempt to block the sun. Again, no such luck. Nelson kept on across the desert while I reached down for a drink. This wasn’t the first ne’er-do-well I had tracked. I had caught even more. All I had ever done was follow my nose and that gut feeling in my stomach. More than once that sinking feeling in my gut had saved my skin. I kept a close lookout for signs as we walked along. Occasionally a broken twig would let me know I was on the right track.
Signs were getting scarce when I noticed what looked like a big carcass a little up ahead. I pushed Nelson to a gallop and pulled up alongside the big buffalo carcass. Or what was left of it. Mostly just bones with some with a few ragged pieces of skin remained. Didn’t look like humans killed it, they would have spent more time getting the skin off it. Must have been some sort of animal. I jumped down to take a look around and sure enough found enough animal tracks to make an accurate conviction. I took a look down to see what type of animal would have caused it. Wolf tracks? No. Couldn’t be. I had never seen wolves this far south. But sure enough those were wolf tracks. Had the little claw marks and everything. Most have been a few of them from the number of prints around. Well, no worry, they are all fed and won’t be hungry for at least a couple of days.
I decided that this was as good a place as any to bed down for the night and pulled out my bed roll and started up a fire. Just as the light was dying I picked off a rabbit for dinner. The sun went down a little further in the sky and I faded off just as the sun dipped behind the horizon. A few hours later I was awakened by the howl of wolves as their voices reached the full moon. It was beautiful in a scary sort of way. The howl of wolves is different from that of other dogs or coyotes. The howl of a wolf is a full, beautiful sort of wail rather than the nervous scream from coyotes. Despite the noise I drifted off to sleep and didn’t wake till morning.
I woke just before sun rise and was on the trail just as it poked its head above a distant mountain. Hill is more accurate, but it is the closest thing to in this area. A few miles down the trail I came upon an Injun tribe. As I got closer I could see ‘em all runnin’ around mad as hornets. I made my presence known and they came up to me shouting about losin’ one of their children. I told ‘em I had just come from a little further east and was huntin’ a known killer. They said wolves took the kid and I told them they were imagining things. I left the tribe just as I found ‘em, still mad as hornets.
I picked up his trail again a little past the Injun camp and must be getting close cause his footprints were getting more defined. I kept on his trail until his footsteps were entirely trodden over by other footprints. As I took a closer look it was as I feared, wolf tracks. He didn’t deserve to go out like that. It was too good for him. He needed to hang in front of the families of people he murdered. But there was no reward without a body so I followed the wolf tracks hoping they would lead to where they left him.
Just before dusk I rode into Custis. A small town built around a spring. Town maybe too large a word to describe it. The saloon was the most prominent building among the bunch so I tied off Nelson in front and went in to take a look around. They had rooms upstairs so I got myself a room for a change from the desert ground and made myself comfortable. After a change and a quick shave I went down to the bar to have a chat with the bartender.
“What can I get ya?”
“Nothing to drink. Not yet anyway. You see a fella by the name George Adams?” I asked knowing he was probably dead anyway.
“Not tonight.” He replied.
“What do you think of those wolves we have been hearing around here?” He asked
“Mighty strange.” I said. “I have never heard of wolves coming this far south.”
“Mighty strange indeed.” The bar tender affirmed.
We kept on small talking until just before the sun set. Just as that sun was going down I saw the dirty scoundrel walk in through the double doors of the saloon. The wolves didn’t get him. If I would have had my gun I would have settled things right there, but it was back up in the room so I kept on small talkin’ while he ordered people around getting set up in a room. Room 205. It was that easy. I gave him a few minutes to get comfortable while I grabbed my repeatin’ rifle and buckled on my pistol. I crept down the hall to room 205 and with a heavy kick smashed in the door. I burst into the room with my rifle pointing the way and staring right down the barrel of my rifle was a wolf. Sort of. He was bigger than a wolf and was standing on his back legs. His big yellow eyes stared at mine for an instance until a sudden and unexpected leap sent him through the window. I rushed to the window and fired a few shots at the fleeing creature as he sped away from me. He was fast and after a few moments watching him I knew there was no way of catching up. Especially on foot.
A few quick steps and leaps brought me to the floor of the hotel and I as I ran out I managed to put a few more shells in my rifle. I leapt up on Nelson, holstered my rifle, and spurred him after the wolf. The tracks were fairly easy to follow out of town and I kept on his track running Nelson at almost a full gallop. His trail led me outside of town into a lava field. I followed him down a narrow corridor of rock walls when I lost the trail. A rock shifted on the wall behind me and I jerked around and watched the gaping mouth of the wolfman get larger and larger. My hand unconsciously went to the pistol on my hip and just as I could feel the hot breath of the wolfman on my face the pistol fired sending the bullet straight through him. His lifeless body crashed into mine knocking me off Nelson and crashing painfully into the lava rocks. I pushed off his body and watched the hairy skin recede from the face leaving the more recognizable face of George Adams. Nelson neighed a little as I dumped the body on his back and settled in the saddle. The Colt Dragoon, made to kill men, horses and apparently wolfmen.

You're my first, my last, my everything...

2009-02-25T19:44:00.000-08:00

So you may be thinking that this blog is about a girl. For anybody who really knows me they know it is not, it is about my job. There are host of reasons why I love my job more than probably 97% of girls I have met. I thought about doing this blog in list format but decided against it, because my job is above that, it is worth more to me than that. I work here at Byu-Idaho filling vending machines from 6:00 am to 9:00 am. There are the obvious reasons why my job is better than a girl, it pays me, it doesn't make me feel like I don't pay her enough attention, and it doesn't call or text me 20-30 times a day. Pretty much work is the perfect mistress, except for the sex part. Every day greets me with a new adventure, either all the chips in the dorm were eaten overnight, stealing a co-workers van, or the masterminds (heavy sarcasm implied) on the Student Representative Council decide that a great idea to boost their numbers at devotional would be to pass out "devotional pass along cards" in the vending machines across campus. So instead of spending long hours in the library trying to scamming on hoochies I'm getting up early and passin' out that candy. Don't hate the player hate the game.

Movies

2009-01-31T20:31:00.000-08:00

Since the last post I did was about movies I figured I would just give you some movies that I think will help you be a better more rounded person. Also all these movies are old cause I love old movies. Deal with it. For your convenience I have seperated them into genre.

Westerns

The Searchers (John Wayne said it was his best)
High Noon (Some commies say it is about how they were treated, whatever it is a good movie)
Once Upon a Time in the West (5 minutes till the end I thought it was a terrible movie and now it is on this list)
The Cowboys (Heartbreaker)

Film Noir (kind of)

To Have and Have Not (Ernest Hemingway classic)
Vertigo (Hitchcock, need I say more)
Charade (Audrey Hepburn + Cary Grant= PERFECT!)
Laura

Romance

It Happened One Night (Also Hilarious)
Roman Holiday (Another Hepburn)
Sabrina (Yet another Hepburn, but also has Humphrey Bogart)

War

Patton (Rommel! You magnificent B******! I read your book!)
Caine Mutiny (Ending was AWESOME)
Lawerence of Arabia (Make sure you have 4 hrs)
Seargent York (Rednecks go to war)

Drama

Casablanca (Tied with Searchers for my fav movie of all time)
Best Years of Our Life (3 post WW II stories that intertwine)
M (Super creepy, could have been put under film noir section)
Ben Hur

Comedy

Some Like it Hot
Were No Angels
Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (Steve Martin and it is black and white)
Dr Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love with the Bomb (Weird but funny)

Horror (These are some of the first Horror movies and they are classic)

Night of the Hunter
Psycho
Gaslight

Okay so that is my list. I have left off a lot of really good ones that are more well known, but some really well known was I have kept on because they are so good. A lot of people, I'm sure, have heard of a lot of these but haven't actually watched them, so I implore you to live the higher life of cinema viewers and go for the good ones.

Have you seen...

2008-12-19T22:11:00.000-08:00

I am a big fan of movies, not so much of t.v. All movies. I have to say that westerns and detective movies set in the 20's-40's have an especially soft spot in my heart. I will give just about any movie a chance. I even like some chick flicks as long as they are not to gushy or stupid. Or predictable. I wouldn't say that I am a huge movie buff but rarely do I meet someone with whom there isn't at least some common ground with movie interests. Now when I said that that I loved movies I really meant it, in fact on very frequent occasions I have wished my life was a movie. Since I have come to the realization that no matter how hard I wish for it, people with guns aren't going to chase me down the street while I dodge their bullets and return gunfire of my own, I'm not going to have the opportunity to ride a horse into a small town and clean it up by my quick draw gunplay, and the beautiful woman that spies me on the street isn't going to fall hopelessly in love with me after a 20-30 second conversation (this took longest for me to realize). So upon realization of these things around my twelefth birthday (except for the last one I probably realized that around 23-24) I began to realize that although I could not live the life of the movies I could at least dress the part. Following is a list of movies and t.v. shows that have influenced my dress:

Ocean's Eleven
Casino Royale
The Big Sleep (I could of used a host of movies but this was the first that came to mind)
Casablanca
Tombstone
Seinfeld (don't laugh, Kramer specifically)
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
Gladiator (really just halloween for a couple of years)
Pushing Daisies (If only I could be as witty as they are)
Pirates of the Caribbean
and a couple of WW II movies (Dirty Dozen, Patton, etc...)

Books have also influenced my dress on a much smaller degree although most of this influence has been on the way I would like to dress but due to the extreme nature of the clothes, or lack of ability to find them I have not actually included them as part of my wardrobe (I have never found circa 1780-1800's British Naval Officers garb, but if any stumble upon it I'm holding you responsible for informing me). So although I may never live the life, I can look the part. This has occasionally resulted in people saying that I look like a charcter out of a movie, but due to their lack of movie knowledge they are usually miles away from what I was trying to achieve i.e. saying I look like James Bond when I'm dressed like Philip Marlowe (you are only 30 or 40 years off) or Inspector Gadget (seriously who would dress up as Inspector Gadget? Did he ever solve a crime without the help of his dog or that girl? Come on, if I am dressing as them they are going to be at least pretty cool and have some class).

"Ten million and you are still driving this piece of junk?"

"I spent it all on the suit."

BLACK ICE = PURE AWESOME

2008-10-22T18:50:00.000-07:00

Every once in awhile an album impacts the music world so much I need to blog about it. Such an event happened on Monday when the worlds greatest rock band, AC/DC, came out with their 18th album rocking their new hit "Rock and Roll Train" which excretes undiluted excellence. Most people I inform of this event respond with "Wow I didn't even know they were still alive?" To my ignorant friends I respond "They are and they are rocking now as much as ever." This album marks their 35th year of wowing the world with their High Voltage rock. Even despite setbacks such as the death of their lead singer, Bon Scott, in February 1980 they were Back in Black with a new album release later that year with new singer Brian Johnson. That album went on to be the 2nd best selling album of the 1980's. We roll tonight to the guitar bite thanks to AC/DC.

Canoeing vs. Kayaking

2008-10-09T16:37:00.000-07:00

Recently I completed my first canoe trip worth mentioning and couldn't help but compare my experience canoeing with my experience that I had kayaking in Alaska. Let me briefly outline both trips so you can better understand my arguments. Kayaking in Alaska: some friends and I rented some Sea Kayaks and paddled on the ocean to an inlet which turned out to be about 60 miles in 3 days. We spent nearly all day kayaking (I thought my arms fell off a few times during the first day but I eventually got used to it) and it was tons of fun. Canoeing in Idaho: I went with my class of 10 plus Instructor we were gone 2 days and maybe went 10 miles (take in account that my distance judging skills are barely something you can call a skill mostly I just say how far I think I wanted to go.) Previous to my Kayaking experience I had never spent any amount of time in a kayak whereas I am the proud bearer of the canoeing merit badge. Now that my experiences of the two nautical craft are placed on the table let me give you my list of why I think canoeing to be superior to kayaking.

1. Canoeing takes a great deal more skill to maneuver successfully, whereas any dolt can drive a kayak.

2. Canoeing can be done in a variety of positions (sitting with legs bent, sitting with legs straight, kneeling, standing, etc...) Kayaking can only be done in one position.

3. Transporting pets, small children, invalids, and the elderly are all possible by canoe but extremely difficult by kayak.

4. Canoeing requires less gear (canoe, paddle, pfd.) Kayaking (kayak, paddle, pfd, spray skirt.)

5. Canoes are easier to portage; for you landlubbers that means to carry your watercraft over ground.

6. Canoes are easier to get into and out of without getting wet.

7. Fishing, picture taking, rescuing people, bailing out other boats and playing vigorous air guitar are all easier to do/possible in a canoe.

8. You have greater access to your stuff in a canoe.

9. If it gets hot and you feel like going for a swim you can get out and back into your canoe without swamping it and without being a world class athlete.

10. Making out in a canoe is way easier than in a kayak.

Things' kayaking has over canoes:
1. Kayaks look cooler.

2. It is easier to go down big, fast rapids in kayaks.

3. A lot of people think kayaking is cooler (they are wrong.)

4. You get to take more stuff with you i.e. spray skirt.

5. If you flip your kayak you get to do that cool roll thing where you un-flip it.

As you can see whereas kayaking is cool, it is inferior to canoeing in almost all areas except for those of you whose vanity determines all areas of your life

My Life as a Worm

2008-09-22T10:43:00.000-07:00

For all those who have never experienced spelunking in its fullness it is something you are truly missing out on. I'm not talking about namby pamby, walking full height, through a cave with a tour guide, i'm talking about inching along on your stomach like an earthworm ever worried that a slight tremor in the earth will seal your doom and bury you never to be seen by human eyes again. Recently I was privelged to indulge myself in this pasttime and it awakened all the childhood curiosity of my youth. I could almost hear the voice of my mother cautioning me to be careful, only I didn't so I carried on guilt-free and let my curiosity run wild. It was only until I came across an uncrossable chasm that I decided to turn back. To me the best thing about being in the outdoors is that freedom to go wherever I want, unburdened by the restraints of roads, crosswalks, or traffic rules. I'm not really even bound by the common decency to wear clothes although I keep them on mainly so as to not offend others. That and it usually pretty cold.

Gumsters

2008-08-06T14:58:00.000-07:00

A recurring habit throughout my life has been old, black &white gangster/mafia movies. Everything the "tough guys" in the movie do is cool, from walking to chewing gum. I suppose gum at the time of these movies was a fairly new concept and the horror that some people attach to chewing gum in public had not yet been attached. These mobsters would be standing around in a hotel lobby chewing gum or flipping a coin and some detective would come up and start questioning them and all they would do is keep chewing or flipping. The cop or private eye would get more and more frustrated until eventually they just left the gangster alone. Then the gangster would go and do something cool like get mixed up in a gun fight or an old school car chase in a Packard convertible. From their head to toe these mobsters were cool; their hat, their clothes, their shoes, and especially their guns It is my goal to re-establish some small part of the "tough guy" approach, if only by making chewing gum look tougher. Next time I am chewing gum in a "no gum area" and somebody questions me about it I'm just going to lean back in my chair exposing the butt of a gun under my jacket, tip my hat back and say "how ya figure that?" If the interrogation continues as to why I am chewing in no chewing area I'll drop my hand down and let my fingers tap on the handle of my gun while I continue to make smart remarks. Unfortunately for me to properly pull off this sort of behavior would require a full change in dress, speech, and probably moral standards. I guess gum chewing left "tough guy" status when gangsters, started wearing baggy pants and gold chains. Oh how I miss the good old days...

Mormon pick-up lines

2008-06-19T13:57:00.000-07:00

Recently, while attending my Institutes after party, I was observing the people around me as they awkwardly met up with other people trying to do what all good single Mormons try to do that is; get married. When I had finished my plate full of fruit and sucked down the last of my cup full of water, I started walking toward the door and as I often do listened in on another groups conversation. As I was walking by a tall and kind of geeky looking fellow asked of a couple of girls, "so are you into 'Star Wars' at all?" Besides screaming "I AM A HUGE NERD" there was nothing worse that he could have said to these girls, and this is coming from a rather big Star Wars fan. No matter what he followed this comment with he had lost these girls. He had lost my attention and I was not even in the group. Next thing I knew Triumph the Comic Insult Dog quotes started running through my head and I nearly asked him if this was the first time he talked to a girl that didn't require his credit card number first. Of course I laughed nearly all the way home, and have been thinking of my own Mormon pick-up lines. So far I have only come up with one and it is "So have any other creepy guys hit on you this evening or am I the first one..." It's a work in progress, I know.

Devil May Care

2008-06-13T10:01:00.000-07:00

I recently finished Ian Fleming's first book, Casino Royale, and if I have ever had a guilty pleasure this falls into that category. You could imagine my surprise/happiness when checking my yahoo mail I saw a headline for the new Bond book coming out and a link to read the entire first chapter, which I probably don't even have to tell you that I read and loved. So to all the true Bond fan's I have included the website so you can read it for yourself.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=90860831

Shout out to hardest rocker in Rexburg

2008-06-12T20:03:00.000-07:00

During the frigid winter months of living in Rexburg Idaho, there is little reason to go outside the least of which is class. Occasionally when I find myself braving the ice, snow and bitter wind I see the person who I affectionately refer to as the hardest rocker in Rexburg. Usually I hear him coming before I actually see him and I turn and see the off white Mitsubishi Galant driving over ice covered roads and hear the sweet sounds of Metallica's S&M album. Then this man goes past with both front windows down and usually has his arm out the window, and then the music completely engulfs me. I smile as I realize that this man has his priorities in order. Man's first priority in life is rocking, and all other things come after. While many others would use the excuse "it's cold" to justify their wussness this man just bucks up and keeps on rockin. Every time I have seen him pass me the same album has been playing. I can't fault him because that album is probably the pinnacle of mans musical, lyrical, and probably grammatical achievement. So to the unknown rocker I say this "For those who rock, we salute you."-AC/DC

Why I hate fire extinguishers

2008-06-09T10:49:00.000-07:00

I had the privilege a few weeks ago to help a buddy of mine on a ranch that he is caretaker of. The guy that owns the ranch is some wealthy Arizonian who got rich doing something for cell phones. Among my duties on the ranch was the disposal of some rather large brush piles by lighting them on fire, which usually resulted in a fairly good sized bonfire. Remember I am a hick from a hick town so our size of bonfires are usually different from those of people with a more metropolitan background.
I had lit two fires that day and decided that I could handle lighting a third without to much problem. This pile was closer to a tree than most of my other fires but since we had received rain recently I thought that the tree would be fine, so I doused the pile with my diesel and gasoline mixture tossed in a match and watched the fire start. In about three seconds the flames shot up 15 feet and started licking the bottom branches of the tree. I looked at the flames under the tree and knew that I was in trouble, I could see the headlines "Man starts forest fire after accidentally lighting tree on fire." Fortunately for myself I had a fire extinguisher in my car and when the bottom branches of the tree went up in a puff of smoke I decided it was time to use it. I grabbed the extinguisher, pulled the pin, took careful aim at the burning branches and clamped down on the trigger. To my horror a puff of white powder shot out the end of the hose and landed about 3 inches from my feet. I pulled the trigger again, shook it, turned it upside down and still nothing worked. I ran swearing back to my car and grabbed a more reliable tool, the shovel.
I looked at the scene of carnage that I had created, a burning brush pile next to a burning tree, surrounded by a slow moving ring of fire supported by the dry grass and needles that kept moving further and further from the epicenter of the fire. Fortunately the tree was in meadow by itself and there was small chance of the fire jumping to other trees. I grabbed the shovel and started pounding out the flames and throwing dirt on them where possible. Let me tell you it is an interesting feeling looking your impending doom in the eye and then beating it to death with a shovel.
Eventually the fire in the tree went out leaving only a few blackened branches and a ring of ash surrounding the brush pile and tree. I stood leaning on my shovel with sweat pouring down my face and body thinking only two things; 1, how much I hate fire extinguishers and 2, that Smokey the Bear better keep his damn mouth shut.